Hello, Fit Chick.
I see you. Hustling. Grinding. Hitting the gym hard every single day. Posting your progress pics, workout videos, and clean meals. You're so committed to this lifestyle. You're always working to get stronger, look better, or improve in one way or another. You don't have time for laziness. You have goals to reach. You spend your Sundays prepping your meals and your evenings tracking your macros. Every time you walk by a mirror you lift up your shirt to see the definition in your stomach. Gotta stay accountable, right?
But, Fit Chick....I also see you struggling. I see the exhaustion in your face. I see your desperate pleas for admiration. I feel your pain through every photo you post. I know you spend your free time scrolling through Instagram looking at another Fit Chick's body to compare yours to. I know every time you look in the mirror, you zoom in on the faults of your body. I know you spend your weekends binge eating food in complete shame, only to wake up the next morning to torture yourself through a workout to purge yourself.
You might try to appear energetic and happy as you do your fasted cardio, but I know your truth. Your body is screaming at you to stop. Your body is so sore and tight, but by the time you get to the stretching portion of your workout, you're too fatigued to grab a foam roller and release the tension.
You're constantly looking at the clock wondering when you can eat again. You're always feeling hungry and hyper aware of people around you eating. How can they just eat that bagel? They're so lucky. You wish you could just eat whatever you wanted. But, you can't. You're on the wagon. That is until, you're off of it. And at that point, you've eaten so much you can barely breathe.
Every time your boyfriend tries to have sex, you try and avoid it. You barely have energy to walk up the stairs, much less have sex. And when you do, it feels painful. Your hormones are out of whack and you're drier than the Arizona dessert. Speaking of...when was the last time you got your period?
Your friends commend you for your healthy lifestyle, but your family sees through your facade. Every time you're with them, they sense your anxiety. You don't want to go out to eat unless you can evaluate the menu and associated calories 48 hours in advance. You don't want to stay up late and hang out with them because you're afraid to be around the food and alcohol. You're always missed at family breakfasts because you're getting in your workout. They don't even try to convince you to skip a day anymore. They just don't understand your commitment.
But, Fit Chick, what is it you're committed to? A life that looks attractive on social media? A life of fighting your body? A life of feeling insecure on unworthy? A life without any intimacy? A life without any joy?
I know your truth. You feel empty.
But, you keep pushing harder. Striving for more. Maybe if you just leaned out a bit, it would all be okay. Maybe when you add a little more muscle to your glutes, you'll feel better. Maybe when you get a few thousand Instagram followers, you'll be confident.
Fit Chick, please stop believing these lies you tell yourself.
Please stop torturing yourself. Please stop wasting your life. No one cares how much weight you lift or how perfect your body is. You might get a moment of satisfaction when people double tap your pictures, but what does that actually do for your life? What is your self-worth based on?
I plead to you, Fit Chick, let go of this label. Let go of this pressure. Let go of this cruel game you've been playing with your mind, body, and soul. You deserve more than this. You deserve health, intimacy, success, happiness, freedom, and love.
Deep down, you know you've lost yourself. You've become so attached to external validation around your body, you don't even know who you are anymore.
Take a deep breath and place your hand on your heart. Whisper to yourself "I love me and I'm going to do what's right for me."
The choice is yours. Stop this madness and choose to love and accept your true self right now. Choose to throw away your mask and discover your brilliant soul again. Choose to be happy no matter what you look like. Choose to share your beautiful light with the world again. Because if you don't, you'll just be another fit chick whose health, relationships, and life are falling apart at the seams.
I know it's scary. Your identity is so tied up in this. You would feel lost without it. But, this isn't the real you, Fit Chick. The real you loves you no matter how shapely your glutes are. The real you wants to spend time with your loved ones and enjoy the food they're eating. The real you is happy.
I say this, Fit Chick, because I was you. And my life did fall apart. But, I've managed to piece it back together to something incredible. And I didn't do that by pushing harder in the gym in controlling my food more.
I did it by letting go.