What do you believe?
When I ask that question, I'm sure you immediately jump to your religious beliefs, but that's not what I'm asking. I want to know... what do you believe about yourself? What do you believe about your life?
So many of us go through our lives without tapping into our true potential our purpose. We spend our days in jobs we hate because they give us a decent 401k package. We stay stuck in relationships that lack any passion because were too scared to lose what we have. Were battling addictions that we can't seem to break because we think freedom just isn't a possibility.
And it's not our fault. It's the collective belief system our society has formed over time that us feeling depressed, stressed, and hopeless.
But, what if I told you that you could change ALL of that? You could feel the way you deserve to feel. You could accomplish everything you've every dreamed about. Because you can. You just need to believe in it.
Now, please understand, there's a lot that goes on behind the scenes that bring a belief to reality. It's not like we can just say "THIS IS MY BELIEF" and just from proclamation we see it manifest the next day.
What actually happens is we say "THIS IS MY BELIEF" either consciously or subconsciously, and that belief makes us feel a specific way, which makes us act a specific way, which gives us a specific result.
Let me show you an example of how this plays out in real life. This is actually a real conversation I had with my friend the other week. I coached her through using the model above.
So my girlfriend says to me...."Every time I eat hibachi, I binge."
This came up in a casual conversation, but it was a huge red flag that I knew we needed to tackle in that moment. So, I couldn't stop myself from asking, "Well, do you WANT to believe that?"
She looked at me confused, and then I walked her through the model.
Before you even step foot into the hibachi restaurant, you're thinking "Every time I eat hibachi, I binge."
Now, how does that thought make you feel? "Anxious. Guilty. Weak."
And, how do you then act on those feelings? "I eat."
And then what's the end result? "I binged on hibachi again."
So, what if you could believe in something else? What if before you came into hibachi you decided to choose a different thought to think.
"Man, I love me some hibachi. But, I'm capable of eating to the point of fullness and stopping there because I know that's what my body wants me to do."
How would you feel then? Empowered? Confident? At ease?
Then while you're at dinner, you keep telling yourself that new belief, and guess what....you don't binge on hibachi. And you now changed your belief about your eating habits around hibachi.
IT IS THAT EASY.
Let's go through another example.
You want to quit your job and start your own business, but you have the belief "It will be too hard to start my own business and I'll never be able to actually do it." How does that make you feel? Shitty. Stuck. Doubtful.
So, when there's a live convention rolling through your city for entrepreneurs, what do you do? You don't go. "It would never work out anyway." (Cue the dramatic, depressing music) And what's the result? You never take any initiative to start your own business, and so you will never achieve it.
But, let's flip the switch. What if you really dug deep into your belief patterns about your dream of owning your own business and decided to change them? What if you believed that not only was it possible for you to create your own business, but that succeeding as an entrepreneur came naturally to you. "I know that I'm capable of achieving this. It might take time, but I'm willing to put in the work." How do you feel? Motivated. Confident. Positive.
So now what happens when that convention rolls around? You're the first one in line to buy your ticket. You network your ass off. You meet people that inspire you. You get the courage you need to take the first steps. And the snowball effect continues until the one glorious day you leave your job and run your business full-time.
Tony Robbins once said "I created this man!" meaning himself. He said in the mirror every single morning "I am great. Greatness is inside of me. Abundance is flowing towards me"... all powerful and Tony Robbins like....and LOOK what that man has created for himself. IT ALL STARTS WITH YOUR BELIEFS.
I know this sounds self-helpy. That's because it is. But, this shit works. Every morning, I set aside at least 10 minutes to talk to myself in the mirror and repeat the beliefs that I choose to believe each and everyday. Not only does it make me feel better, but I can see how radically different my actions are. And I don't even have to think about it.
Okay, one more example.
You have the belief "My husband doesn't want to spend anytime with me anymore."
How does that make you feel? Insecure. Lonely. Upset.
Your husband comes home and says he's going to head out to his friends house to watch the game. You immediately act out on the negative feelings you have towards him and start an argument. "Why can't you just stay home for once?" "You're so selfish!"
And then guess what... YOUR HUSBAND DOESN'T WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU ANYMORE. I mean, who would want to spend time with a nagging and insecure person?
You know the deal.... let's rework this.
What if you valued your marriage so much that you committed to changing your beliefs about your partner? What if you chose to believe "My husband is so busy lately, but I know spending time with me is important to him."
How do you feel now? At ease. Safe. Loved.
When your husband comes home and says he's going to head out, how do you act? "Okay, babe. Have a good time! I'll leave dinner for you in the fridge if you're hungry when you get home." (That's how married adults talk, right?)
And in that moment, your husband is probably thinking "Wow, my wife is cool. That's sweet of her. Maybe tomorrow I'll take her out to a nice dinner." And yes, you've now manifested your new belief and your husband does enjoy spending time with you.
If you're reading this and thinking "Well, I don't have any negative belief patterns like that." I CALL BULLSHIT. You might not be aware of them, but you 100% have them. Because we all have them. We have beliefs about our bodies. We have beliefs about our relationships. We have beliefs about our past We have beliefs about our potential.
I invite you to get aware of your beliefs/thoughts by journaling, meditating, or whatever floats your boat and begin to ask yourself "Do I WANT to believe that?"
My body is fat and unloveable.
All men cheat.
My boss hates me and will never promote me.
I want to go to the gym, but I can never stick to it.
Being an entrepreneur is hard.
My parents fucked me up as a child and I'll never get over it.
I have trust issues.
I try to eat heathy, but I always fuck it up.
My boyfriend thinks that I'm bossy and overpowering.
I don't have time to have fun.
ALL OF THESE ARE BELIEFS. ALL OF THESE ARE CHOICES.
So, do you WANT to believe in them? Is believing in those thoughts helping you get to where you want to go? I can't tell you how many personal training clients I had in the past tell me "I'll never be able to lose weight and keep it off." And I just thought to myself, "Well, what the f%^$ are you doing here then?" You're creating your own destiny.
Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result. So stop doing the same thing. Better yet, stop believing the same thing. Pay attention to the way you speak to yourself and out loud to others. Pay attention to the way your old beliefs make you feel and act.
And make the change you need in order to grow. Find a new belief that works for you. One that you can actually believe in. I've talked about this before, but work your way in incremental steps.
"My body is fat and disgusting." can become "My body is capable of change."
Work it out and choose the thought that feels good for you. Because its the feeling that creates your action. And your action is what creates your result.
I invite you to try this belief-reworking practice, even if its for one day. Because you deserve it. You deserve to feel good. You deserve to go after your dreams. The only limits we have are the ones we have put on ourselves with our belief patterns. So break those motherfuckers down. And go after what's yours, boo boo.