So, I've been feeling in a funk the last couple of days. I've been skipping some meditations and not journaling as much as I normally do. I've been pushing myself a little too hard in the gym. I've been having some negative thoughts about my body. And all in all, I can feel my energy has gone down. Not the physical energy I need to exercise/live (although that's also taken a hit), but my vibrational energy. The energy we exude to the universe which reflects back to us in the form of exciting opportunities, incredible people, and love.
Since I've become incredibly aware of my mental and emotional state, I can tell pretty quickly when something is off. And being a perfectionist/problem solver, I have this need to dissect exactly what's going on with me that's making me feel so bad. But, I'm realizing over time that it doesn't even matter what's creating the tension in me. All that matters is my acceptance of it.
We don't solve problems by frantically running around trying to solve them. That usually just stresses us out more. We solve problems when were relaxed and allowing.
Have you ever been enjoying a really long, hot shower, in complete enjoyment and presence when all of the sudden an incredible idea or insight about your life hits you? It's not a coincidence. It's because you're relaxed. Your monkey-mind isn't running at turbo speed. Your intuition, your highest self, your power can finally be heard.
Knowing this, I decided to not to force anything during this little funk of mine. I'm not judging myself for not feeling as connected or positive as I usually do. I'm letting myself have some negative thoughts. I'm trusting that this too shall pass.
Life is like the sky. Sometimes there is bright sun. Sometimes there are clouds. Sometimes there is rain. But, there is always the clear sky sitting behind all of the changes. Our emotions are the same way.
If we can just relax and accept the way we feel, we'll likely come to the revelation were needing in a much gentler manner than if we were to force it. Our emotions are our guides. They tell us when things are aligning with our souls and when things aren't. And we need our negative emotions to help steer us back to clarity and happiness. So instead of resisting the feelings of doubt, fear, negativity....accept them. Love them. Thank them for being there. For without them, we wouldn't know we were misguiding ourselves.
Instead of running away from my ego's judgments about my negative emotions, I'm choose to be compassionate. "There, there ego. I know we'd rather be feeling upbeat and happy right now, but were not. And that's okay. Let's not make the situation worse than it needs to be." And yes, I really do talk to myself like this.
The less I resist the negativity, the easier it is to tune into my intuition.. which gave me the answer I needed this morning. The reason I've been feeling down is because I've been having some negative body image thoughts recently. The reason I've been having these negative body image thoughts is because of my job.
Wait, what? My job? How'd I get there? Well....something I've realized about myself... is that whenever something in my life feels out of control, I immediately shift focus to my body because my ego believes its something I can control.
There's been a lot uncertainty with my career as of late and instead of focusing on the decisions ahead of me, I've been focusing on diet, exercise, and my body. Luckily, I've only been doing this for a couple of days until my highest self shined some light on the situation. Now I know why I've been feeling the way I have been and can start to make some gentle shifts in a different direction.
I'm sure if you started to do some self-reflection, you'd realize your tendency to try and control when things in your life feel out of control. Maybe a family member passes from cancer, so you become a vegan and try and be the healthiest person you can be. Or, maybe your boyfriend cheats on you, so you check his phone every night to make sure he's not talking to anyone else.
Everyone feels the need to control in some respect. We want certainty that our lives are going to look exactly the way we want them to look. And anytime were in the unknown territory, our ego freaks out and uses negative emotions, like anxiety and fear to grab our attention. And that's cool. Our ego isn't trying to make us miserable out of spite. It's trying to protect us from feeling pain.
When we realize that in all actuality, nothing in our life is in our control and more importantly... our happiness isn't dependent on the way our lives look, we can ease our way back to joy and grace. It's a blessing to feel happy. It's a blessing to feel sad. It's a blessing to feel anything.
Don't run from your feelings. Explore them. Accept them. Connect with them. They are here for a reason.
Quick update: It's been two days since I wrote this and I feel amazing again. The sun is shining ;)