*On my recent vacation, I had a moment of divine clarity and inspiration that moved me to grab my journal and transcribe the flow moving through me. I transcribed my entry word for word below.....*
If the vessel of Caty had a purpose, it is to be a piece of the awakening. Everything that is happening in our world is a direct reflection of how we have thought as a collective. How do we truly make this shift? How do awaken the collective?
Is it through our presence without action that real change happens? The vibration of a 'tapped in' individual? Or do we fight the darkness? To fight seems pointless.
But, without conflict and fighting....we wouldn't know peace.
As we all begin to question everything we've learned, the only thing we can admit is that we don't know anything.
But, we love to know. We love to have all of the answers. We love to be right. But, if right and wrong are just a fixation and illusion of the mind, what are we really afraid of?
Experiencing pain in the human experience? Are we ever actually alone in that experience? And isn't every experience we take on not to serve our highest good? How can we elevate our spirits to see the truth in all situations and be so aware of the self without attachment?
Honoring the self,;but knowing it is just a temporary expression of us.
Losing the identity of Caty. And who I've conditioned her to be.
She experiences fear of losing her family and friends. But, she also knows there is no turning away from her own expansion. The spiritual path and seeking journey continues to unfold at a rapid pace.
Can I just support her in feeling safe and excited?
Two emerging core desired feelings I didn't know I had, but they just they've gracefully flow into my awareness as soon as I am calm and still.
What makes both Caty and I feel safe?
Meditation, prayer, financial abundance, a steady stream of clients, love and support from family and friends, admiration of the work she's distributing into the world, and overall the strong feeling of being aligned with my purpose.
What about excited?
Excited. As in....creative. As in....inspired.
Where is the excitement in complacency? Is it not in these moments of complacency we immediately look for the next achievement or change anyways?
Excitement is the chase that fuels our energy for life, so is it also not the way we should be living every single day?
Learning to question our conditioned vs authentic desires is confronting for the human. We feel ashamed. We feel weird. We feel we are being judged for wanting different things.
When deep down, we know our truth.
I know, at my core, I would rather be traveling along to a spiritual retreat than spending a week at a luxury resort binge drinking with friends (for the most part). Does that mean I'm unloving? Is my sense of being an introvert just one of the other clever masks of my fear or ego?
Or is the journey within truly the most satisfying of all?
Am I guiding Caty to keep seeking deeper within, while never being without, to see the truth in both the internal and the external core desires?
Unfolding. Deeper. Harder. Softer.
Clearing the limitations and allowing the cultivation of healing energy to transform myself and others. Doing what I can by being who I am, where I am, with what I have.
Is there anything more or less to do than that?
Why does it feel so easy yet so painful at the same time? Is this not yet another dichotomy of existence?
We are all one on a spiritual level. Yet, we are all so different on a human level.. And as I continue to be more and more different on a human level, I feel more and more connected to the spiritual level.
Are we intended to seek this deep? Or is this the symptom of reading one too many spiritual teachings? Is the symptom of seeking not the most beautiful form of gratitude? When we find our lover, we want to know and explore every piece of them. Deeper. Softer. More thorough.
Amazed in and in awe of their magnificence. Their past. Their future. Their desires.
So, it is meant for us to take on the same dynamic with God, with ourselves. Both spiritually and physically.
Curiosity, admiration, love, and endless unfolding.
Judgment and fear of change have been the only two elements keeping us from this. We judge ourselves. We judge others. And when we change, we're afraid to admit it. And when others change, we're afraid to see it.
So change and polarity are the only constants of truth, yet we spend nearly all of our human lives resisting them.
Making things wrong.
Making our lives something we put on a shelf, not something we feel in every waking moment of existence.
The less traveled path. With more sticks, rubbish, and obstructions than that of the super highways others have created in the past
But, perhaps the filled with more scenery, solitude, and adventure.
Maybe this path takes "longer" to complete than the super highway. But, both paths are headed in the same direction.
So what's the rush?